so strange, i thought of this blog because i wanted to rant about people being selfish but i saw the previous post and i already had a similar one.

new topic then-update on this semester

being back in nyc has been an adjustment. its no longer china-no more relaxed schedules, CoCo runs, cheap meals, etc. its back to dealing with school, hw, internship, and clubs. this semester might be a bit different though since i’ve joined worship team and Shine-both which I really enjoy =)

but here are some specific topics that have been bothering me.

• summer internship
• copyright and urban environment class-need to stay up to date
• friendships-cant keep up with them and no time to
• spiritual life-need to have better time management so i can make more time for Him
• people have never failed to let me know that im in trouble if i dont get a guy now because all the tall ones will be gone-stop pressuring me ppl-im losing confidence by the minute
• my lack of confidence these days in general
• getting out of shape

so im going to take all these bullet points and pour them at His feet.

do not want to elaborate.

So last night I had late talk with my cousin who’s been doing public relations for a while now. You know what she said to me, she said, ‘honestly i think you should change your major’ it threw me off but yet, i feel like she’s been telling me that this whole time ive been here. She has brought me to meetings, ran through processes with me, allowed me to look through the proposals she’s done. It didnt seem that bad yet behind the scenes, its really really tough. Ok yea, all jobs are tough so suck it up gloria, right? I guess, but is this the right field I’m supposed to be going into. My cousin and I are different in that she’s really good at socializing and making good convo. She has a presence where as I? Even though I’ve broken down the quiet shell, I still am nowhere near her courage. So lets look here, is my character even fit for media/marketing?? She tells me she does so much work, pulls so many all nighters to get proposals done, only to have lots of her ideas refused. Am I really ready to have hard work and effort be rejected over and over again? Not even getting paid overtime. There is immense pressure and responsibility in her role, to make sure an image is portrayed and attracts attention. Right now she’s responsible for creating an image in society of this newly born product so its basically starting from dirt. It sounds really fun actually. Like the concept of all her projects are fun but the stress is so immense and the pay is not that good. I mean she’s worked her way up to get big projects, but she’s good at it.

I guess, Im just mostly worried about the financial security of the career im heading towards. I want to have a healthy life, not the one my cousin leads. She could be meeting celebrities often and getting her name out there, but in the end, she’s just mad tired. I dont know if Im following God’s orders or my own. Ive been thinking He placed me in media to maybe change it..to use it as my mission field. I am rethinking things because what if God’s using my cousin to tell me this might not be it. Im not running away, definitely not. I’m just trying to not close off options.

Ive been playing too much and I really need to minor in something legit. I just have to find out that something

VISIBLY seen

i really never thought i’d be one of those girls who would care so much about weight-partially bc ive never dealt with this issue before college but

omgoodness-my arms, waist, and face fat-GOTTA GO.

i have to get over this discomfort of my own body by doing something about it

therefore, i promise myself-i will work hard to slim down those targetted areas by the end of summer

i forgot how super hot it was here, but i really hope i adjust to it..FAST because once i start work, i will die in my nice clothes.

i also forgot how overwhelming hong kong is. it is SUPER packed with too many asians..everywhere. the shopping-insane. the food-super cheap and deliciouss. the walking-endless. the most thrilling times of the day? when im inside anywhere with blasting AC

ive been to disneyland already and spending a whole day there was ridic-the park was mad small so less walking..but still super hot outside. poor people in costumes =(

the 2 year old toddler im staying with is adorableee but naughty ><; and i dont really understand what he’s saying most of the time- the parents are teaching him english and mando..everyday. what a fricken overachiever already.

hrm yea, im writing this as im watching tv so my thoughts are scattered

ps-if china shuts down facebook and google for me, i will go berserk…

im thankful my Dad let me work at his place, not just as an office assistant but actually doing marketing and assigning me creative projects as well. besides the normal excel spreadsheets and research, i’ve been able to do furniture shopping as well as prepare the displays for the upcoming trade show in NY-the Fancy Food Show. working here this summer is definitely much different than a few years ago. people are actually treating me like an adult (whee!) and there are interns around my age that i can have cute little lunches with. sad to say, i’ve been skipping out on a lot of those lunches to see other ppl in the city =/but yet =) because i’ve been seeing Anna weekly and also have met up with Jess, GFung, etc.

what have i been doing at home-

i’ve been taking part in the church praise band-i think it’s been a blessing having to worship on hte same team with a few of the most talented individuals. God definitely has blessed certain ppl with the amazing gift of voice that i could only admire. i guess this summer i am trying to bond with the church and let go of the bitterness of leaving CLG in the first place. its still pretty hard i must admit because when i visited CLG, it felt nice-being able to have so many brothers and sisters to laugh and kid around with. its okay, i feel like God has bigger plans for the Wu family here in Paramus Bible Church.

hm, ive finished Hana Kimi-it was a disappointing end, reminder to never suggest that drama to other ppl. ive watched lots of movies and with diff ppl too! i had a goal of trying to hang out with my old hs friends but sadly, it hasnt been working out because i can only play on weekends..argh nyu friends just naturally dominate my schedule =P..but will try harder!

Hillsong Utd concert! good times..

what else…

something’s been on my mind but thats for a different post.

when I keep on letting you down?

And each time I will fall short of Your glory,

how far will forgiveness abounds?”

And you answer: ” My child, I love you.

And as long as you’re seeking My face,

You’ll walk in the pow’r of My daily sufficient grace.”

a week that went by a little too quickly. too fast for me to take it all in.

this week i realized the reason why i did not really grow this year. i mean there is the obvious lack of daily devos and prayer but i think the biggest reason is that I lacked outreach. I focused on my A’s and not on my non-christian friends, my own plans and not God’s. The whole second semester I concentrated on maintaining a GPA and getting a job this summer instead of having godly conversations with people. looking at the past year and how i led freshmen small group, i regret the fact that there was only verbal teaching of the Word and no set practical action, no set day to just go out and outreach, or no real encouragement to bring  a friend to sg.

at basileia i realized i need to reevaluate my priorities..again..

joining the engaging God’s world track has only made me understand more that i should be more aware of the issues around me, the people that are not like me, and the outside zone that i have not yet dared to step into. my small group has shown me that i need to stop thinking of myself and start thinking of how God wants me to move throughout the NYU campus and Shanghai’s.

i praise God for sisterhood, that we can have a bond and accountability while still share fun moments and laughs with each other. sophomore girls definitely have this unity thing going on that have caused drama and jealousy lol

hm, so my plans for this summer? im going to try to keep up daily devos, work out daily,  learn mando (FORREALS OR IM SCREWED), learn new songs, finish reading at least 3 books, hopefully go work in shenzhen, ….will finish list later…

i see whats coming

so now im walking away…